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Final Fight! If only some of the mayors in the upcoming elections had mayor haggars no nonsense approach to crime.

This annoys me more than diving TBH. Two good attacks stopped in the second half by tactical fouling. It's more viable now with five subs as players can just be subbed off when they're on a yellow. I'd like to see action being taken. Have them count as two yellow cards with regards to...

I thought Keanu Reeves character in the matrix was called Neil.

I'm sure everyone has one these. One side is for grating cheese. But what are the other sides for? I don't think I have ever used them for anything. My best guess is that the inventor was a sadist and the sole purpose of them is to shred your hands when you do the washing up.

I am very tempted to buy one of these. Haven't seen a slush puppy machine for yonks. Air fryers my ****. This is what you want taking up room in your kitchen. 60 quid from Amazon

This "satellite" is due to crash to earth. At first I thought, **** sake Putin, Trump now this. Then I thought perhaps it's not such a bad thing. Would the empire really be much worse than what we've got now? Tie fighters are not long range ships so expect a "small moon" to appear shortly.

And I'm not talking about the Boro batman here.

Often get advertisements for ***** like this and huel on YouTube. This one has amused me with it's try hard nature. £47 for some powdered mushrooms that aren't even hallocinogenic. A quote from Mark Twain that I would imagine is wrongly attributed on the packaging. A name that has fallen out of...

Bought an ipod. Got a Free subscriptions to apple TV. Bought a TV got a free subscription to apple TV. Bought a playstation game from Currys. Got a free subscription to apple TV. For three months. Scratched my arsë. Got a free subscription to apple TV. Why would anyone bother subscribing? I'm...

Luke Ailing Hayden Knackedknee Hamstring Ricard

I've always found the guardian to be a little po faced. But can they not see that these people are joking? Are we going to have to start using blue text to denote obvious jokes like they do in America? I mean it's supposed to be the yanks that don't get this sort of thing...

Beaten by a lad from the Boro who cost nowt. And a fella from tooting and mitchum who cost nowt.

Surely it is Party all the time by Eddie Murphy

And who was first. Are they all just copying pep? Have they not heard of scarves? They look like bad guys from crappy James bond films. The Timothy Dalton ones. Or action man.

Mariners Apartment Complex by LDR I Say a Little Prayer by Aretha/Dionne Warwick/Bacharach/David

What is it with footballers and their nice white trainers

just been booking tickets for London to darlo on the LNER website. It's been giving me wildly different prices for each journey. Example darlo to London on 28th December quoted me £160(!!!!!!!!!!!!!), £80 and £47. I would close the page down, do a search for a journey and get a different price...

This is the kind of **** I live for. It can read my mind.

I just sat on my remote. Now the picture is zoomed in. How do I stop it being zoomed in?