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  1. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    How long does your kettle take to come to the boil?

    I just bought a new kettle and am concerned about the brew time. It took 1 minute and 54 seconds to boil 2 mugs of water. My old kettle took 1 minute and 20 seconds. I am thinking of taking it back. It will take me approximately 25 minutes to take it back to Argos, so it would be around 100 mugs...
  2. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    Why does no one ever drink custard?

    The milk has gone off so I had a drink of custard instead of my usual mug of tea. I think I'm onto something. Don't know why it's never caught on.
  3. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    Covid Public Safety Announcements

    They should try using the 80s method now, of scaring the living **** out of people. This fallout video would make a good starting point. Create a haunting John carpenter style early 80s synth jingle. Sadly Patrick Allen died several years ago. Besides which most people would probably associate...
  4. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    Movie characters in real life

    Goodfellas Henry Hill played by Ray liotta Tommy disimone known as Tommy Devito in the film played by Joe Pesci James Burke known as Jimmy Conway in the film played by De Nero
  5. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    The snake at coulby newham

    There used to be a snake at the Parkway shopping centre which was used to trap children in whilst their parents went shopping. I spent many hours of my childhood stuck inside the snake on all fours in pitch darkness while the security guards tried to get fifteen children to back up as a fat kid...
  6. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    Do you enjoy the smell of your own farts?

    Usually mine have a pleasantly robust beefy flavour with lots of character and notes of chestnut and mahogany. Just had an omelette though and let rip with an eggy one. Had to open the windows and the cat left the room after giving me a funny look.
  7. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    Comparison of attendances post and pre covid

    Ours has increased. Most if not all others have declined. Surprised at how well forest are supported. This year on top.
  8. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    Good band names you have seen

    Not band names you have made up out of thin air, but ones you have seen somewhere and thought, that would be a good name for a band. For example from the BBC news website today: Lazer Vagina Menopause Therapy.
  9. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    I think they're llamas dude

    Llamas to save humanity. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-58628689.amp Thank you Llamas
  10. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    What is this?

    The adverts on here are trying to sell me it at 40% off, which to me sounds like a good deal. Don't know what it's for though. I'm a bit worried it might be a lady version of one of the tripods, you know the one, 80s sci fi show. Don't want it trying any mind control crap on me.
  11. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    What was your first job?

    I worked in a sausage factory. This is not a euphemism. Just looked them up on the internet and they're still going 20 years later.
  12. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    Problem with boros green away shirt

    I've spotted a problem with the green away shirt. It's blue.
  13. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    How long do you give benitez?

    I reckon 18 months. A bunch of scousers made a "we know where you live, don't sign" banner but left it outside the wrong house. :D That's the sort of thing that should win awards.
  14. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    I have just had a terrible thought

    If there's going to be a decent sized crowd does that mean the England band will get in? If this is the case I am officially transfering my allegiance to Germany in the hope we don't have to put up with the Great escape theme and on the ball being performed ad infinitum throughout the rest of...
  15. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    Hungry

    What should I have for tea.
  16. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    Words that are nice to say

    Wolves.
  17. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    Taking the knee

    Wasn't this just kneeling down in the olden days? When you sit down are you "taking the ****"?
  18. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    Trouble getting wood?

    Apparently there is a shortage https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-57299350.amp&ved=2ahUKEwiKoIq42vLwAhUi0uAKHdnmBhgQyM8BMAB6BAgMEAM&usg=AOvVaw1ULJM8HQx2-YAGCKIfvldi&ampcf=1
  19. Sheriff_John_Bunnell_ret

    I AM CORNHOLIO!

    I need TP for my bunghole.
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