The Middlesbrough FC manager Neil Warnock flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi boy play soccer. He is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over and sign for Middlesbrough .
Two weeks later they are 3-0 down with only 20 minutes left, the young Iraqi gets the nod and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation, scores 2 goals, sets up another 2 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Boro. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.
When the lad comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in the Championship league..
'Hello mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20 minutes today, we were 3-0 down but I scored 2 goals, set up 2 more and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me.'
'Wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed and assaulted, now your brother has joined a gang of drug dealers, and all while you were having such great time.'
The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say mum, but I'm really sorry..'
'Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' screams his mum, 'it's your fault we came to fuc*in Middlesbrough in the first place!'