Signs I am getting old

Varifocals
Creaking joints
Have any form of drink after 6pm then guaranteed a pee needed at 3am
Being out after 9pm is a late night
On a countdown ‘til retirement
 
Get to wear my comfy trainers tomorrow night cos my back won't cope with the walk from the tram to the ground in my Vans, I need a bit of padding😬
Vans are rubbish for your back/knees/hips as they have zero compression or suspension.

Its OK if you're a bit of a kid and want to be welded to a skateboard.

I've given up wearing mine in favour of running shoes and Doc Martens
 
Vans are rubbish for your back/knees/hips as they have zero compression or suspension.

Its OK if you're a bit of a kid and want to be welded to a skateboard.

I've given up wearing mine in favour of running shoes and Doc Martens
Yep I now know this, I think I've known it for a few years but didn't like to admit it.

Got a gig in a couple of weeks and I think that might be my last outing for them.

It's a sad day when a man has to hang up his vans
 
Eating or drinking anything nice triggers IBS. I've kicked the booze 3 weeks ago and am eating better through the week, but am waiting to feel better...is it bloody worth it? I might not live any longer but it will certainly feel like it! Ah well, doing a Zoom Yoga session this evening. Will put it on mute in case any farts sneak out....
 
1. I have rogue long eyebrow hairs now.
2. The muscle that you use to **** being the same as the one you use to fart always struck me as one of the many design flaws of the human body. A few years ago i started farting every time I went for a ****. This seems to have stopped now thankfully.
3. I also thought a few years ago that my farts had stopped smelling. I was quite pleased about this. In days past I would have been tightly squeezing my buttocks together until an opportune moment to drop a big one arrived. With my odourless farts I was dropping them with impunity. In crowded lifts. On dates. Job interviews. Then I stopped smoking and my sense of smell returned.
 
Back
Top