Good night

Combined depression & anxiety over many years/decades can leave you burnt out with respect to adrenal glands, making everything much worse...fatigue, anxiety, depression in a vicious circle

Self-medicating with caffeine turns depression into anxiety, same for alcohol but you get a brief respite.. until it comes back as more anxiety

I saw a talk about burn-out and recovering from it - she said you don't bounce back from burn-out but you might be able to claw your way back to a routine that supports your mental health and well-being

It starts with setting your sleep and awake schedule to fixed times where possible e.g 3 or 4 nights a week same bedtime same time up on a morning

Then move to focusing on just doing one positive thing per day to improve your situation. Can you do just one thing today to improve your situation in some way, however small. Eventually things get better one action at a time...
 
anth25 said:
Have no advice to offer as anything I tried would be misplaced and uninformed and I'd worry about saying the wrong thing. All I will say is that my family lost someone to suicide earlier this year. Having seen the impact that has had on his immediate family has been heartbreaking. I really hope that you can find another way out of the situation that you're in. All the best from one internet stranger to another
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Sorry to hear that anth
 
Keep fighting it Aet mate, I know as well as anyone how gut-wrenchingly hard it is but we're all here with you and you are loved by your family - they would be devastated to lose you.

Please continue to confide in the wonderful people of this board - it can make a difference just talking about things. Stay strong mate 👍
 
Aet290204 said:
I’m fine although I broke down completely at lunch time, and took some time out this afternoon to talk through some stuff with family. Didn’t tell work so got a bollocking when no one could get hold of me but fk em.
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Yeah **** em. Do they not have a HR function with access to mindfulness stuff or a helpline? Not much but it’s a different voice that won’t judge you.
 
anth25 said:
Have no advice to offer as anything I tried would be misplaced and uninformed and I'd worry about saying the wrong thing. All I will say is that my family lost someone to suicide earlier this year. Having seen the impact that has had on his immediate family has been heartbreaking. I really hope that you can find another way out of the situation that you're in. All the best from one internet stranger to another
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Sorry to hear that Anth. The devastation I know I'd be putting my family through is the only thing that's stopped me over the years.
 
Hey AET, have you any plans to come up for any games next season…we can all arrange to have a few beers, and then nobody will be ‘strangers’ anymore 🍺🍺..or maybe one of the London away games..plenty of lads travel down.

Now lockdown has come to a conclusion, maybe get involved with the MSS (Middlesbrough Supporters South) there might even be someone on your doorstep you can talk Boro with. I know Nuge used to post on the old board, and I think Rob might have the details of them, so it might be easy to get you hooked up.

#UTB 👍🏻
 
TheBoroBuzzard said:
Hey AET, have you any plans to come up for any games next season…we can all arrange to have a few beers, and then nobody will be ‘strangers’ anymore 🍺🍺..or maybe one of the London away games..plenty of lads travel down.

Now lockdown has come to a conclusion, maybe get involved with the MSS (Middlesbrough Supporters South) there might even be someone on your doorstep you can talk Boro with. I know Nuge used to post on the old board, and I think Rob might have the details of them, so it might be easy to get you hooked up.

#UTB 👍🏻
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Second this, a beer with the boys and take in some football 👍
 
anth25 said:
Cheers Erimus. Young good looking lad, really talented sportsman, loving family, beautiful girlfriend. Just shows that this illness can effect anyone
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So sad & heartbreaking for the family & friends left behind

As mentioned I don't know what to say either, but coming on here & feeling the response is something, no matter how small, for you & others to hang on to, please keep on posting & saying how you feel there is always some member on here who will pick up the thread & talk back to you & others who are suffering

Take care
 
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TheBoroBuzzard said:
Hey AET, have you any plans to come up for any games next season…we can all arrange to have a few beers, and then nobody will be ‘strangers’ anymore 🍺🍺..or maybe one of the London away games..plenty of lads travel down.

Now lockdown has come to a conclusion, maybe get involved with the MSS (Middlesbrough Supporters South) there might even be someone on your doorstep you can talk Boro with. I know Nuge used to post on the old board, and I think Rob might have the details of them, so it might be easy to get you hooked up.

#UTB 👍🏻
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Hi there. Don’t feel really I can plan anything with this covid situation at the moment but at some point I will definitely get up there for a few home games. Usually stay in the town overnight as well. Have been known to take in an away game in London and I usually do Norwich away as well (but obviously not this season). I’m a Jonah at Carrow Rd. been there three times over the past ten years or so and every time we’ve lost 1-0 ☹️
 
Stay strong, admitting these feelings is good, you are addressing the issue and you will move forward. Don't beat yourself up thinking that nothing is changing, it will change tomorrow is another day.

Stay safe.
 
try to stay strong for yourself and your loved ones,dont forget there will be a LOT of people who care for you as a person, even tho sometimes it may not seem so buddy.hope everything works out for you.from a friend whom you haven't met
 
anth25 said:
Exactly that! Fk em no work takes precedence over your own health. Do they know anything? Have they been understanding?
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Yes they have to be fair. I had several weeks off last year when depression struck. Although it varies. I opened up to several of my (mainly female) colleagues and they’ve been supportive. Some people though are clearly uncomfortable with the “How are you” opener when you don’t reply with “I’m fine” or “I’m good”. Their problem though not mine. Deal with it, I’m not lying….
 
Many years ago I was involved in a criminal fraud case as a witness. The police then told me what the funds had been used for. I went into a very dark place for about 9 months, I could not be alone, go on holiday and my wife did all the driving. I never realised how much it effected my son's until something very stupid happended, I stubbed my toe and shouted out. My youngest son said Dad's said something. I had only ever responded to conversation , never started one. Slowly from then things improved. I hope this makes sense. There are always people worried about you and care, even if today you don't realise, maybe tomorrow.
 
Aet290204 said:
Yes they have to be fair. I had several weeks off last year when depression struck. Although it varies. I opened up to several of my (mainly female) colleagues and they’ve been supportive. Some people though are clearly uncomfortable with the “How are you” opener when you don’t reply with “I’m fine” or “I’m good”. Their problem though not mine. Deal with it, I’m not lying….
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The "how are you" question is one I really struggle with. I know it is just a greeting, however I want to provide a truthful answer but without bringing the mood down straight away.
I have learned to deflect the question, to something like "still here", which for those who know me means "not great, but lets not go there". When I am depressed the last thing I want to do is to analyse my feelings to give a truthful answer, especially if it is negative.

On the flip side, I have found recently that my stress/anxiety and depression has recently lifted. Due to help and support from some of the people who I work with. I have had an opportunity to thank them and explain that things are feeling better. That felt like a positive thing to do and has certainly been received well by my team.
 
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