Extremely annoying things that try your patience

Not just long black limousine's but even Fiat 500's.
Driving down those city streets
Waiting to get down
Won't you get your big machine
Somewhere in this town?
Now in the parking lot garage
You'll find the proper place
Just follow all the written rules
You'll fit into the space
Pull up to my bumper baby
In your long black limousine
Pull up to my bumper baby
And drive it in between
Pull up
To it
Don't drive
Through it
Back it
Up twice
Now that
Fit's nice
Operate around the clock
Why don't you come in?
I've got lot's of space for everyone
Why don't you my friend?
Lines are short
I'll pick you up so won't you please come on
Shiny sleek machine believe
It I've got to blow your horn
Pull up to my bumper baby
In your long black limousine
Just pull up to my bumper baby
And drive it in between
Pull up
To it
Don't drive
Through it
Back it
Up twice
Now that
Fit's nice
Race it
Straighten it
Let me
Lubricate

🤔🤔
 
Every day I walk over a narrow bridge from where I live to go to the beach, shops or just for the walk.
There is a sign at both approaches to the bridge that requires cyclists to give way to pedestrians.
Without fail, either on my way there or on the way home a cyclist speeds past without so much as a ring
from their bell or an " excuse me " or even bother to slow down.

Like I say, it is a narrow bridge with one lane in either direction for cars and a narrow footpath for pedestrians.
It would only take a slight deviation of travel from the pedestrian for there to be a calamity.

The vista from the bridge is a beautiful one and many pedestrians suddenly stop and move over towards the fence
to take in the views or to watch ferries, boats, canoes or jet skis go under the bridge.

I've yelled out many times to them " Don't you have a bell ? and I feel my fist and jaw tightening.
They carry on regardless and luckily for them that they do. 👊🥾
 
Cyclists who wave you past .................. when you pay my bloody car insurance you can wave me past, until then keep your hands on the handlebars and I'll overtake when I have a clear view and it's safe to do so.
 
I run a burger van and I hate it when I ask if I can help someone but they try and be clever by ignoring me whilst making a point of studying my menu.
It results in unnecessary awkwardness. All they need to say is that they need a couple of minutes to choose. I mean I'm not a monster, I wouldn't shout at them or hurt them.

You need to study customers body language. If we're stood staring at the menu, hold back and give us a bit of time. If we make direct eye contact with you and give you the little nod and smile, this is usually an indication that we already know what it is we're wanting to order and you can go ahead and ask us.

Every now and then you may be caught out, as you may have a customer who doesn't make eye contact, and decides to browse the menu and eventually asks "are you going to serve me then, or do you think I'm stood here waiting for a bus?", or may make eye contact with you and when you ask them what they want, they reply "A bit of time to decide would be good".

Generally though, if you take my advice you won't go wrong.
 
Been alluded to a few times already but dawdlers. This extremely annoying breed who move and think slowly, stopping clueless in the middle of supermarket aisles to have a wee ponder, oblivious to anyone else. Similarly, drivers who wait at traffic lights in neutral with handbrake on; who then clearly wait until the light has completed its move from red-amber-green before ponderously beginning the ball-ache process of engaging the gear stick and slowly unlocking the handbrake.

During all of this I'm usually sitting exasperated, providing a running commentary, with a bemused Mrs V wondering aloud if there's even a smidgen of a chance that I may have an obsessional issue. Harumph. But she may have a point.

Other than such trifling issues, people who are b**tards in business. Met a lot, worked for one or two and they all deserve to suffer. I have trouble separating business practices from life values. See also rich tax dodgers who try to play the nice guy. Pay your taxes and shut up.
 
Businesses telling me how they're doing everything safely: of course you are, due to rigorous H&S laws. I trust you not to scuttle your livelihood.

Cafes who allow a massive queue to build for a drink or hot food machine which takes a geological age, as the manager stands looking exasperated: just go down the queue and ask for orders. Are they worried about an epidemic of people joining large queues and not paying?

The man a few streets away who charges around the built up estate at 35mph near kids and dog walkers, but then maintains that speed on the 60mph road all the way to the A1.
 
Going in Costa Coffee and the ‘ Americanism ‘ of the staff wanting to be your best mate when it’s your turn at the counter .

“ hello fabulous to see you and how are you today , isn’t it great outside and what can I serve that will make you even more happy “ ?

I feel like saying in my right middle age miserable git self

“ look I appreciate you have to do your job , but I only want a f###ing cup of coffee and if I want a new mate I’ll go on Facebook “

He usually loses the big toothy smile and serves me my coffee in no time .
 
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Going in Costa Coffee and the new ‘ Americanism ‘ of the staff wanting to be your best mate when it’s your turn at the counter .

“ hello and how are you today , isn’t it great outside “ .

I feel like saying in my right middle age miserable git self

“ look I appreciate you have to do your job , but I only want a f###ing cup of coffee and if I want a new mate I’ll go on Facebook “

He usually loses the big toothy smile and serves me my coffee in no time .
Yeah I hate friendly people too...
 
People who make a noise when eating. Actors who talk when eating. Actors who knock on the door in programmes and when the door opens the person says 'Come on then don't just stand there!' without giving them any time to speak. People who will press the button at the zebra crossing while you are stood there. As if you would be that stupid not to have pressed it yourself! People who have no manners and won't thank you for holding a door open, or letting them go first. Bus drivers who set off when an elderly person hasn't had time to sit down.
Officers deliberately avoiding payment of their mess bills(n)
 
You need to study customers body language. If we're stood staring at the menu, hold back and give us a bit of time. If we make direct eye contact with you and give you the little nod and smile, this is usually an indication that we already know what it is we're wanting to order and you can go ahead and ask us.

Every now and then you may be caught out, as you may have a customer who doesn't make eye contact, and decides to browse the menu and eventually asks "are you going to serve me then, or do you think I'm stood here waiting for a bus?", or may make eye contact with you and when you ask them what they want, they reply "A bit of time to decide would be good".

Generally though, if you take my advice you won't go wrong.
😃You sound an absolute pleasure to do business with.
Rather than studying all the subtle nuances displayed by a customer's body language and demeanour, I think I'll stick to the tried and trusted variations of 'can I help you?'. With most normal people (I.e. non-asreholes) it doesn't cause offence.
And I'm going to own up, I don't actually run a burger van.
 
😃You sound an absolute pleasure to do business with.
Rather than studying all the subtle nuances displayed by a customer's body language and demeanour, I think I'll stick to the tried and trusted variations of 'can I help you?'. With most normal people (I.e. non-asreholes) it doesn't cause offence.
And I'm going to own up, I don't actually run a burger van.

My post was written tongue-in-cheek but I'm going to own up.

I don't actually like burgers 🍔🙂
 
Motorists who drive under 55mph on a motorway.
Apart from being annoying, it's dangerous. HGV have to overtake, usually taking a few miles to do so. Other motorists who drive a 70mph often have to slam on the brakes and swerve out of the way.
 
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