Condoms

Just put a sock over it or better still have the snip. You'll have to knock out a few yourself afterwards mind just to prove you're seedless.

Weirdest feeling when the wife says she's off to bed and you get to say, I'm staying up for a bit to have a tug! :LOL:

And it's at least 10 days worth these days. :sneaky:
 
Definately get them online. There is a site that is part of the nhs. I got pack of 72 for around £10 delivered.
 
No need for contraception in my household. With a 5 year old and a 20 month old in the house to run around after and me and t'other half working from home too, sex is something that can only occur when the holy trinity of energy, desire and opportunity align. 99% of the time we only have two of the bloody three! 😝
 
Last edited:
Go old school and get one of those ones that you wash out and hang on the line. Means you only have to feel embarrassed the once, unless the neighbours spot it.
 
Heard a rumour that if you boil condoms then you can stretch them over very large objects, it might be a solution to my ever growing problem 🙋
 
I was lucky, my samples had to be provided on the day after our two legs of the semi-final against Arsenal on the way to Cardiff 😆
 
A mate of mine, as a party trick, used to stretch one down over his head til it covered his nose and then blow it up til it burst. Very funny when drunk (and young and daft)
 
Just don't see used ones these days... It must have been a 80s/90s thing.

I was forever seeing jizz filled condoms in the park or down alleyways. I guess they went the same way as white dog sh*t😂
 
Just don't see used ones these days... It must have been a 80s/90s thing.

I was forever seeing jizz filled condoms in the park or down alleyways. I guess they went the same way as white dog sh*t😂

Maybe you just don't hang around the park or dark alleyways like you used to :)
 
OK so I bottled it

I had a look but there was such a massive selection I didn't want to hang around checking them all out

Anyway I found a couple in the back of the drawer - problem is the use by date is July 2014 :unsure:

Should I risk it. Nuts are full to bursting.
 
OK so I bottled it

I had a look but there was such a massive selection I didn't want to hang around checking them all out

Anyway I found a couple in the back of the drawer - problem is the use by date is July 2014 :unsure:

Should I risk it. Nuts are full to bursting.
tug one off first, lower your sperm count before the main event
 
Back
Top